Listening to: Joy Division
Reading: Lolita
Eating: Fried Rice

Drinking:water


2 January 2009

I am okay...
Love lies, especially when you are faint of heart, not realizing what you are doing besides going along for the ride. You kind of just wake up one day in your new place look over at the person next to you and realize. You realize they all of a sudden look different to you. So you close your eyes and hope to wake up and see something different, nothings changed. The person you thought the feelings you had for were fake, your life has become something you did not want to become. Grabbing your heart by the boot straps, finally done with all the useless blather you have exchanged with this person; you leave. Not easy, stepped on abused, cursed at, thrown around, and leaving bloody and bruised. Salvation finds itself remarkably in new ways. The horizon may be in the distance, right now I am just walking hopefully one day I will get there. The battles I have faced, the storms I have endured, and the purgatory I lived through. I will... Come to an end of means that I will be happy with.
All the people I have watched on here, I do still see the work you have done and have been watching over the many months.
Good day
Justin Mathew Williams







1st April 2008

An update on me, I am doing actually pretty well. I have cut off almost all contact with my family again, I started a new job as a graphic designer for the World Championship Sports Network which is exciting because I am able to do the graphics for the Olympics which is awesome I may say. There is a new home I have moved into which is actually really nice I like it a lot, and I have moved out of simi valley for good. There are a lot of bad memories I will leave there for good. Mr. Beans is also a new puppy in my life, I decided to get a new companion. Though there are a few things that I left in Simi Valley that never had closure and it still is a black hole in myself that hopefully one day the darkness that entraps it will no longer. As I have not forgotten anything either, and I am waiting for that day you will tell me everything.
I know I haven't been on this in awhile, just the busyness of life has got to subdued to how things have to be, and I do miss the people I would chat with regularly on deviant art and hope all of you are doing well.

Take Care everyone, as I have found light does shine when you have given up all hope.
Some how you do pull yourself out to find the greatness you have been missing.

Also I am clean from drugs so I am very proud of myself, that was a crazy run I had for awhile.

~Justin Williams





3rd of January 2008

Today is the start of my brain storming on my first series ever!
It will be titled my religious series and I will be attempting to mock
every single religion.

So far I have already made my scientology photo, now it is going to start with
Christianity/ Catholicism
Buddhism
Mormonism
Agnosticism
Atheism (yes, if I am going to mock every religion mind as well mock my belief)
Jehovah's Witnesses
Satanism
Judaism
Islam
Hinduism
Jainism
Taoism
Paganism





3rd of January 2008

Making a mockery of religions always seems to get me excited!
I could use some sex right now...





18th of December 2007

I wish I had some next to me right now on this lone some tuesday night.
Pretty much all I have is my puppy, and thank you for that because she is the best thing going for me.
I hope you are doing better than I am right now, and the holidays are not eating away at you with lonesomeness and sorrow.



9th of December 2007

In a bleak attempt at understanding myself, I found you cannot live in the past or future but the now. It is what will bring you the most clarity and push you forward in the world. We put too much effort in allowing our happiness to be in someone else instead of being with us. By this will allow ourselves to be depressed because our true joy is in something that is outside ourselves making this process so much harder.
I always thought I would be so much happier if I got a significant other in my life that would just fix everything wrong, until I finally realized that it was such a twisted way to view reality. It was my choice to change the way I was and be content with who I was if I were to realize that it was only me who could fix what I needed , and by that I did.
And so day by day my life has been changing and altering as each problem I used to have crumbles beneath the sand and these roots I have bound so deep in the soil of self destruction are slowly breaking free.